DIRTY STOLEN FOREVER by Nazarea Andrews - REVIEW

SYNOPSIS:

Colt Rayburn loved Aiden Delvin, once. A lifetime ago. Before duty and the Marines took him a world away, chewed him up and spit him out.

Aiden would have waited forever for Colt to come back. But Colt didn’t want that, and he’s rebuilt his life. Without the man he loves.

When Colt comes home from a deployment that went wrong, Aiden is there. Inexplicably back in Green County and impossible to resist. He swore he’d never go back to that place, never destroy Aiden the way he had when he walked away the first time.

But Aiden grew up and changed too, while Colt played war hero.

Both of them know what they want. After all this time. But can a love story that destroyed them once be rebuilt, when life and duty still hangs over them both…

The second in a sexy new series about Green County, and the people who serve there.

REVIEW:

Colt is home after a devastating loss in Afghanistan. While he is happy to see his family and be in a familiar place with modern conveniences again, he is sad about the reason. The one person he wasn't prepared to see was Aiden. The boy he loved before the Marines sent him across the world.

Aiden never understood the reason Colt joined the Marines. Colt enlisted without even discussing it with Aiden, leaving him shattered and alone. Staying in Green County was too difficult because reminders of the life he could have had with Colt was around every turn. He's only back because his brother needed him.

When Colt and Aiden see each other at the local bar, things are tense and awkward. They both know that the attraction is still there, though. Colt just doesn't know how to bridge the gap between them and Aiden doesn't know if he wants to open himself up to heartbreak again and holds himself back.

Colt and Aiden's past is revealed through a few flashbacks that give us a good picture of what pushed Colt to join the Marines. Watching Colt open up to Aiden to reveal the truth is hard. Their relationship is so fragile and both he and Aiden are scared. Will Colt return to the Marines, leaving Aiden again? Is Aiden planning to go back to New York to continue his artistic life surrounded by other artists? They'll have to trust each other to move forward.

I don't read many M/M romances and I'm happy to say that this one is amazing! I was sucked into the story immediately and desperately wanted it to work out for Colt and Aiden. Something else I loved about this story is the acceptance that Colt and Aiden receive from family and friends in regards to their relationship. It is a non-issue, which is so needed in literature. This isn't a GLBT story. It is a love story. A second-chance romance. A story about family. The two main characters just happen to be male.

The Green County Series is definitely one you should read. The first one, DIRTY SEXY SECRET was great, too. You can read my review here.

DIRTY STOLEN FOREVER by Nazarea Andrews - RELEASE DAY

 

Today we are celebrating the release of DIRTY STOLEN FOREVER by Nazarea Andrews. Dirty Stolen Forever is an adult contemporary romance, standalone novel, that is the second book in the Green County series. Grab your copy now while it's .99¢! The sale ends in 2 days!

   

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DIRTY STOLEN FOREVER Blurb:

Colt Rayburn loved Aiden Delvin, once. A lifetime ago. Before duty and the Marines took him a world away, chewed him up and spit him out.

Aiden would have waited forever for Colt to come back. But Colt didn’t want that, and he’s rebuilt his life. Without the man he loves.

When Colt comes home from a deployment that went wrong, Aiden is there. Inexplicably back in Green County and impossible to resist. He swore he’d never go back to that place, never destroy Aiden the way he had when he walked away the first time.

But Aiden grew up and changed too, while Colt played war hero.

Both of them know what they want. After all this time. But can a love story that destroyed them once be rebuilt, when life and duty still hangs over them both… The second in a sexy new series about Green County, and the people who serve there.

 

PREVIOUS BOOK IN THE SERIES

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  

Nazarea Andrews (N to almost everyone) is an avid reader and tends to write the stories she wants to read. Which means she writes everything from zombies and dystopia to contemporary love stories. When not writing, she can most often be found driving her kids to practice and burning dinner while she reads, or binging watching TV shows on Netflix. N loves chocolate, wine, and coffee almost as much as she loves books, but not quite as much as she loves her kids. She lives in south Georgia with her husband, daughters, spoiled cat and overgrown dog. She is the author of World Without End series, Neverland Found, Edge of the Falls, and The University of Branton Series. Stop by her twitter (@NazareaAndrews) and tell her what fantastic book she should read next.

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REMEMBER WHEN by RC Boldt - REVIEW

SYNOPSIS:

The third installment of RC Boldt's Teach Me series returns with two people who once had it all…
Over a decade ago, fourth grade teacher Tate Donnelly was attending college with the love of her life by her side. She had been certain, even then, that it was the forever kind of love. But she was proven wrong when he left her all alone to pick up the pieces of her life—and heart—when her entire world imploded.
Former Navy SEAL Miller Vaughn once had the love of a girl he thought would be his, and be by his side forever. Unfortunately, that only lasted until after he joined the Navy. Then she vanished, never to be heard from again. Throwing himself into his training, he vowed to become the best, toughest SEAL he could be, and never let a girl get the best of him again.
Years later, a man who resembles a boy she once knew reappears in her life. A boy she had loved with her whole being. A boy who had eviscerated her heart.
Though much time has passed, Tate and Miller still feel that same "pull" they did years ago. When truths about the past are revealed, will they both be able to move on from their painful past … or are they destined for heartbreak again?
Can they remember when their love was the most important thing in their world?


REVIEW:

Every word and every page made me fall more in love with Tate and Miller. The banter and chemistry is off the charts with these two making it difficult to put the book down. If you've read the other two books in the series, you'll be glad to know that you'll get to see them again as well as getting to meet a few new faces.

Like other second-chance romances, events from the past make it difficult for Tate and Miller to reconnect. Both had their hearts broken and must make the decision to trust again. The chemistry between the two still remains and I loved following their path back to love. It is explosive

Your heart with break for all Tate and Miller lost, but the struggle makes the ending so satisfying. If you're not familiar with this series yet, you really need to check it out. It would be best to read it in order, but if you want to start with REMEMBER WHEN that's okay, too.

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About RC Boldt

RC Boldt is the wife of Mr. Boldt, a retired Navy Chief, mother of Little Miss Boldt, and former teacher of many students. She currently lives on the coast of North Carolina but dreams of relocating to a tropical island. When she's not writing, she can be found daydreaming of relocating to a tropical island, at the beach, going running with her family (and contemplating *gently* tossing her daughter out of the jogging stroller to reduce weight resistance), singing karaoke, harassing her husband or relaxing with a good book. And, let's be honest. Most of those activities listed probably include wine or a good microbrew. Except for the running. In that case, the drinks come afterward. :)

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CRAVE ME by M. Robinson - REVIEW

SYNOPSIS:

They say in order to find yourself you have to go home.
What if home was what you're running from?
Where did that leave you?
Always on the other side of the fence.
Always looking in.
Always wishing you were someone you couldn't be.
Until one day you meet her.
The one.
She was my high, but she was also...

My demise.

REVIEW:

YIKES! This is the first book I've read by this author. Talk about emotional turmoil. These characters really go through the ringer and from what I read in CRAVE ME, it seems like the same goes for the other couples in the first three books in the series. CRAVE ME is a standalone book so don't worry if you haven't read the others.

CRAVE ME is the story of Austin and Briggs. Austin grew up in Oak Island, NC. A friendly beach town filled with people that love him. He has a tight-knit group of friends that the adults call the Good Ol Boys. Austin is the youngest guy of the group (Alex is the youngest and only girl in the group). He's always felt like he had something to prove - never really felt like he fit in. He loves all of the guys and Alex and knows they'd always have his back, but as the years passed and they started growing up, things changed. Hearts were broken, friendship tested, and secrets were kept. After a terrible accident left him damaged and full of guilt, Austin takes off and drifts from place to place. Never wanting to go back home where all his pain is wrapped up in the people he should be closest to.

Briggs lost her parents in a car accident when she was six-years-old. With no other family, she is taken to live with an Uncle she never met. An Uncle that doesn't know how to raise a child and tends to paint her a realistic picture of life. He doesn't show affection, frequently moves her from school to school, and keeps a close eye on her all the time - to the extent of giving her a driver/bodyguard that eventually becomes her only friend. After a particularly bad fifteenth birthday, Briggs makes a hasty decision that leads to devastating consequences. The consequences pull her further into her Uncle's world - a world of illegal activity.

One night at a party, Austin and Briggs see each other across the room. They have an intense interaction that leaves a BIG impression on both of them. Unfortunately, the only see each other that night. Fate brings them together again after a year or more and soon they begin a relationship. They start out as friends and progress to lovers after a couple of years learning each others secrets.

As the years go by, Austin becomes more involved in Briggs' work, going so far as taking the lead in the drug transactions. Unfortunately, this is the beginning of the downward spiral in their relationship.

The obstacles these two face seem insurmountable. The heartbreaks and deceptions keep piling on and on and on. Soon neither of them recognize the person they fell in love with.

Be prepared to hurt when you read this. I mean, really, you'll wonder how Austin and Briggs will survive in tact. At times you'll wonder if they'll survive at all. Your heart will ache as they work their way through their troubles.

I have one teeny tiny issues with the book. THE ENDING. I won't give anything away, but....I would have liked it to be a little tidier. Although the ending is the lead in to a spin-off series that focuses on Briggs' Uncle. Hmmm. Anyone else feel this way?

 If you want to grab the other three, here are the links:

A FIELD GUIDE TO CATCHING CRICKETS by A. Wilding Wells - REVIEW

SYNOPSIS:

The soul is not where it lives, but where it loves.

A countryside ranch, naughty notes and a neighbor boy. Kissing in silos and skinny dipping under a full moon. Ten years gone. An ocean, a tragedy...secrets and buried things. Letting go and hanging on. Remembering to forget.

My reality became his nightmare, but then my nightmare became reality.

Hawke Slater was not only my brothers’ best friend, he was a tender, sweet country boy. I never wanted to leave, but there was no choice for me at fifteen. Two things kept my soul alive, and I’m hanging onto hope that one might be an option for my future.

I wish none of it had been my fault, but it was.

Sloan Story McQueen has returned. Why would I hold out an ounce of hope that she’d want me once she finds out what I do for a living. Some call it obscene, but I’m just chasing storms and rainbows.

She’s holding onto something big. If only it were me.

This novel contains copious amounts of sex, harsh language and other grown up topics.


REVIEW:

Hawke became an unofficial part of Sloan's family since he started playing with her and her brothers when he was ten and she was seven. At first, he treated her just like her brothers, but as they grew up, feelings started to change. Sloan and Hawke spent most of their childhood playing on the family farm, skinny dipping in the lake, and learning the art of flirting with each other.  One way Hawke flirts is by leaving dirty notes for Sloan in very unexpected places. One day she'd find a note in her tampon box, another day one would be wrapped around her curling iron. The notes started out silly, but eventually became more serious.

The book opens on a scene when Sloan is fifteen and Hawke is eighteen. They are in the middle of a goodbye because Sloan is going to Amsterdam to stay with her grandmother. Both are heartbroken, but Sloan knows she is doing the right thing. We don't know exactly what the problem is (but a skilled reader will have a guess), but Sloan is determined not to ruin Hawke's future by derailing his plans to be a filmmaker.

Hawke is beside himself when he can't get any information about Sloan once she leaves. While he is still best friends with her brothers, no one in the family will give him any updates. Soon, Hawke comes to terms with the fact that Sloan is lost to him and moves on with his life. He ends up making movies, just not the kind he intended.

Ten years later, on the eve of Sloan's brother's wedding, Sloan comes home. Hawke is filled with many emotions. He's excited, he's nervous, he's angry. In order to calm down he goes to the place that is filled with happy memories, the lake. Turns out when he gets there, Sloan is already out on the floating raft - naked. Seems she needed to calm down, too.

Soon, Hawke and Sloan are reacquainted. It is almost like she never left, except Hawke can tell there are things she is keeping from him. Big things. He has a big secret of his own, but he knows he'll share it with her because he doesn't want anything to stand in the way of them being together. He loves Sloan. Always has and always will. He just doesn't know if Sloan feels the same way. Where was she for ten years? Why did she stop all contact with him and ask her family not to share anything with him?

Hawke and Sloan's second chance is so sweet. Sloan suffered more than he could ever understand. She's embarrassed and ashamed of what she did and what happened to her as a result. Can he ever forgive her? Will he think less of her?

Hawke is determined to get HIS Sloan back. The problem is, Sloan doesn't know if she exists anymore. Will Hawke have the patience to stay around to find out?

A FIELD GUIDE TO CATCHING CRICKETS is amazing. It is a book that I couldn't put down. The story is filled with joy, sadness, and hope. Hawke is a fantastic man. His devotion to Sloan, even after all the years apart, makes you melt. UGH! If only all women had a Hawke of their own.

A. Wilding Wells has a knack for writing a sweet romance that is smoking hot at the same time. If you aren't familiar with her, check out her other books. I loved HOW TO TAME BEASTS AND OTHER WILD ANIMALS, but haven't read A MESS OF REASON. I just ordered it though.
Check out my post about HOW TO TAME BEASTS.



This book isn't available for preorder yet, but be looking for it soon.

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DARE TO TAKE by Carly Phillips - REVIEW

Dare to Take by Carly Phillips

Date of Publication: May 3, 2016

Blurb

She was off limits,
But he couldn't resist.
There are just some guys you don't touch--even someone as innocent and inexperienced as Ella Shaw knows that. But when her brother's best friend is up for grabs and willing, she can't resist. After all, she's wanted him for years...
On leave from the army, Tyler Dare WAS just looking for a little fun, but his best friend's sister is off limits. Yet unable to deny how sexy and alluring she is, he finds it all too easy to succumb to a night of passion and heat that ends the next morning in the worst way possible.
Now years later, Ella is stranded on a tropical island with a hurricane bearing down, and only Tyler can save her. It's his chance to make amends for the past and show the woman he's never forgotten that he's coming after her . . . in more ways than one.

REVIEW:

This is the 6th book in a series, but the author writes it so it can also stand alone. I haven't read any of the others and didn't feel lost at all. I think this is a great skill. Any author that can give you enough background to the other series characters and still maintain an individual story is talented.

Ella has been a part of the Dare family since she was ten-years-old. She met Avery Dare at the hospital when they were both donating bone marrow at the behest of their inconsiderate fathers. Avery and Ella had a lot to bond over. The Dare brothers immediately pulled Ella into their circle and started watching out for her.

Now, several years later and in her early twenties, Ella is working as an assistant to a fashion photographer and getting to see the world. She's finishing up a job on the Carribean when she is mugged and left without money, identification, or assistance. In addition to this terrible turn of events, a hurricane is barreling toward her island. Ella calls Avery, her best friend in the world to let her know what's happening and she immediately goes to Tyler, one of her brothers for help. Tyler owns a security company so he is the perfect person to deal with getting Ella home safely.

The problem? Tyler and Ella have been at odds for several years. Ever since Ella snuck into Tyler's bedroom one night when he was home on leave from the Army. She was eighteen-years-old and convinced to sleep with her (it didn't take much convincing since Tyler had been attracted to her for years). He just so happened to take her virginity that night, too. Tyler didn't handle it well. He freaked out, feeling guilty for taking something so important from her. Guilty for having feelings for someone who is practically family. Tyler does what he does best when things get sticky. He ran!

His rescue mission to the Carribean guaranteed that he and Ella would have to talk about what happened all those years ago. He is determined to make it up to her. Convince her everything was his fault. He just didn't realize how much what he did affected her. Ella was convinced he freaked out because the sex wasn't good. Ever since she's been self-conscious and insecure with men. Breaking through her barriers and earning her trust is going to be hard.

When things start happening to Ella that lead Tyler to believe the mugging was more than a random act of violence, Tyler's security experience kicks into high gear. He investigates what she was involved in during the photo shoot to get to the bottom of the danger that now seems to surround Ella. Protecting her gives him the perfect excuse to stay close. Hopefully it will be enough time to convince her how he really feels and apologize for running from her all those years ago.

Below is the reading order for Carly's books. As you can see, she has a lot of crossover with her characters. The Dares siblings are featured in this series and their cousins are in the NY Dares series. Then, there is a spin off coming soon that features some family friends. That series is Billionaire Bad Boys. We see Kaden at the end of this book.

Carly also has the Dirty Sexy Series written with Erika Wilde. WOW! I love that series. Here is my review of DIRTY SEXY INKED! I can't wait for the third book, DIRTY SEXY CUFFED!

Available From

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About Carly Phillips

After a successful fifteen year career with various New York publishing houses, and over 40 sexy contemporary romance novels published, N.Y. Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Carly Phillips is now an Indie author who writes to her own expectations and that of her readers. She continues the tradition of hot men and strong women and plans to publish many more sizzling stories. Carly lives in Purchase, NY with her family, two nearly adult daughters and two crazy dogs who star on her Facebook Fan Page and website. She's a writer, a knitter of sorts, a wife, and a mom. In addition, she's a Twitter and Internet junkie and is always around to interact with her readers. You can find out more about Carly at www.carlyphillips.com.

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BEAUTIFUL BOY by Leddy Harper - REVIEW

About BEAUTIFUL BOY

One introverted girl. One extroverted guy. One assignment. One afternoon. Then everything changed…

“You destroyed me.” Novah wanted nothing more than to walk away, never see him again. She was determined to pick up the pieces of her tarnished reputation and move on. Her torture became her muse, earning her well-deserved notoriety for capturing beauty with her lens. She had come full circle. She had it all…until he returned.

Nolan found himself surrounded by the grim facets of life, no longer the prominent boy from an affluent family who’d caught Novah’s eye. The years had been unkind and left him in the dark, painful trenches of life. He needed her help.

Fifteen years can equate to a lifetime of change, neither one the same person they once were. Despite the humiliation, the latent wounds, the missing years…they’re destined to heal one another in unexpected ways.

“You saved me.” 

REVIEW:

This is the story of the super, popular Senior and the shy, invisible Freshman as they connect one sunny afternoon during a photography assignment. This is the story of a bitter business man and a gun shy photographer as they come together again fifteen years after both of their worlds were shattered.

Novah never expected Nolan to get in touch with her fifteen years after he destroyed her life. In fact, she hoped she'd never see him again - EVER. When Nolan uses Novah's career against her and challenges her to find beauty in the most unlikely of places, she accepts (her best friend actually gets her into this by pretending to be her in a heated email exchanged).

Soon, Novah discovers the reasons for Nolan's anger. She never knew what happened to him after the incident in high school. She never believed his story that he didn't do the things that ruined her life. She never knew that he had true feelings for her then. Never knew that hurting her killed him inside. That he blamed her for everything he has gone through - all the pain, the loss, the anger.

Nolan never knew how the incident followed Novah through all four years of high school. How guys never asked her out on real dates. They only teased her for what happened with Nolan in her freshman year. Expected her to put out like the slut everyone thought she was. He never knew that she turned her heart to stone in order to prevent being shattered again.

With a lot of patience, Novah begins the process of showing beauty to Nolan again. Slowly he learns to let her inside his world. He confronts his demons and learns about other issues that prevent him from living a fulfilling life.

Together, the heal. Together, they have peace. Together, they have love.

To get an idea of the kind of issues you'll be dealing with in this book, take a look at Michael Stokes' photography. Particularly his work with wounded soldiers. The beauty in these photos is amazing. The bravery we can see is awesome. Nolan is just as brave. He is determined to fight to become the man that Novah deserves. Novah is just as brave in her perseverance. She never gives up on Nolan, but she also doesn't let him use her as a crutch. She gives him space when he needs it - even though he doesn't want it. She is strong for the both of them in order to give Nolan the time he needs to understand his troubles.

BEAUTIFUL BOY is a beautiful love story. You don't want to miss it.

Check out Michael's work at:
http://michaelstokes.net/
http://michaelstokes.tumblr.com/
https://www.instagram.com/stokes_photo/
Great article about his wounded soldiers work.

Anne Geddes photographed children that suffered ill effects from meningitis. She wanted to show the beauty of survival.

Add it to your Goodreads list here!

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About Leddy Harper

Leddy Harper had to use her imagination often as a child. She grew up the only girl in a house full of boys. At the age of fourteen, she decided to use that imagination and wrote her first book, and never stopped. She often calls writing her therapy, using it as a way to deal with issues through the eyes of her characters. She is now a mother of three girls, leaving her husband as the only man in a house full of females. The decision to publish her first book was made as a way of showing her children to go after whatever it is they want to. Love what you do and do it well. Most importantly Leddy wanted to teach them what it means to overcome their fears.

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FORGETTING AUGUST and REMEMBERING EVERLY by J. L. Berg - REVIEWS

Everly has finally gotten her life back on track. Ever since the terrible event that put her boyfriend, August, into a coma, she's been trying to adjust to life away from his controlling behaviors. She was literally locked in her room for days. Up until the incident, August had been becoming more and more paranoid, refusing to allow Everly to leave the house. It was always "for her safety," but Everly never knew what August was protecting her from.

Now, Everly has met someone new. He's a gentle and loving man who knows what Everly went through and is willing to help her heal. They are planning to be married and Everly is happy for the first time in a while. Until the phone rings and she receives the news she's been worrying about ever since August went into the coma. He's awake. Should she go see him or should she cut ties for good and move on with her new life?

August has no memory of his life. He doesn't know the foods he likes or the movies he enjoys. He doesn't know the music he liked or the kind of clothes he wore. What he does know, though, is the way he feels when Everly around him. He may not remember the specifics of their life together, but after seeing picture of them together he knows that she is special. He can feel the love he has for her - even though he doesn't know how it developed. The problem is, Everly doesn't seem to want to be around him. Seems a little afraid of him. Is planning to marry someone else. What did he do to make her act this way? He wants to be the kind of man she deserves and he's going to do everything he can to prove it to her.

Everly struggles with her feelings for August. The relationship with her fiancé suffers because Everly finds herself helping August learn about his past in the hopes of jogging his memory. She thinks it will help her put the past behind her if she helps August. What she didn't expect was for her old feelings to come back to the surface - to fall for this new August.

Just when Everly decides to give life with August another chance, the impossible happens. August gets his memories back. He remembers exactly what happened on the night he ended up in a coma. He does the only thing he can think of. Confront Everly and tell him he never wants to see her again.

Will Everly try to patch things up with August or will she go back to the fiancé she left? Will she play it safe or take a chance on life? 

REMEMBERING EVERLY gives readers the answers they wanted in FORGETTING AUGUST. What happened the night August went into the coma? Why did August keep Everly a prisoner in her own home?

Forgetting August by JL Berg
Date of Publication: April 5, 2016

Blurb

She can forgive, but can she forget?

Some days, Everly still thinks she sees him. In the food court at the mall, or in a car speeding past as the light changes. It only lasts a second, but when it happens, she slips back to a time when she was ruled-and nearly ruined-by August Kincaid. And it doesn't matter that she's moved on, that she's about to marry another man. In those moments the only thing she can do to regain control is take a deep breath and remind herself that August can't hurt her-because he's in a coma. Except that he's not anymore.
August is awake. With no memories, he sets out to solve the mystery of his lost life. He unearths a photograph of a beautiful redhead named Everly and knows instinctively that she's the key. But when he finds her, the August she describes is more monster than man.
Tortured by the thought of having hurt her, August wants only to become the man Everly deserves. As the new August emerges, Everly glimpses the person she first fell in love with. But can she trust that this August is real? When the final secret of their shared past is revealed, one of them will make a choice that changes their future forever . . .

About JL Berg

Author J.L. Berg is a California native living in the South. She is the author of the self-pubbed Ready series. When she's not writing, you can find her with her nose stuck in a romance book, in a yoga studio, or devouring anything chocolate.

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FORGETTING AUGUST Teaser

Chapter One
Everly
I saw him again today.
It was at the mall this time.
He was wearing a grey suit and it was just seconds this time before he disappeared around a corner and my life returned to normal once more.
It had been two years and yet I still saw him. Everywhere.
The day after that fateful night, I saw him in our neighborhood walking a dog. Months later, he was next to me at a stoplight when I went out for groceries. Two weeks ago when Ryan got down on one knee and placed a dazzling diamond ring on my left hand, I swear I saw his face the minute I said yes.
He was like a ghost—my own personal poltergeist.
I knew it wasn't really him. My therapist had reminded me of that simple fact over a thousand times, but that didn't stop my heart from skipping a beat or my lungs deflating of air every time I saw someone that looked like him pass in my direction.
It could be the color of a person's hair or the way someone laughed that set my body on edge.
Today, it was simply a suit.
Tailored, dark grey with a small pinstripe. The style had been his favorite, and even though the man who wore it looked nothing like him, I still found myself frozen in the middle of the food court.
Still as ice, unable to move.
Because life really didn't move on from a person such as August Kincaid.
No, you simply learned to adapt and above all, you survived.
And that was what I had been doing for the last two years.
Surviving.
"Hey, you went blank again. Are you okay?" Sarah asked.
I looked around, and the world suddenly shifted back into focus. Children cried and
begged for ice cream, teenagers laughed and flirted as they walked by us. The smell of cinnamon rolls and cheap Chinese food mixed and mingled, as people pushed and shoved their way around to get in ridiculously long lines. Life went on around me as I returned to the land of the living.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured her. Concern was written all over her beautiful, trim face. Her hand lifted briefly as if she were going to offer a hug, but quickly decided against it.
"Okay," she answered, defeat clearly written all over her face. She knew I wouldn't talk about it.
I never did.
There were certain things that just didn't need to be shared.
Specific memories of my past were one of them.
She already knew I was a nutcase yet for some reason became my friend despite this. I guess we had that specific trait in common. We'd met in the waiting room at my therapist's office. She was a recovering purger, or at least that's what she called it. Since the time Sarah was barely old enough to vote, she'd been suffering from a variety of eating disorders. She attributed her illnesses to a dance mentor who'd never thought she was thin enough to be a ballerina.
"When all you want to do is be the Swan Princess in Swan Lake, you make sacrifices," she'd told me that day in the office very matter-of-factly. Sarah was at peace with her issues. She'd gone through years of counseling and this year would finally be the swan princess she always dreamed of being—fully in control of what she considered her "livable flaws."
Me?
Well, I guess we all had issues that lingered. Some had visible flaws they could see in the mirror, touch with their hands…measure on a scale. Others, like me, had memories that woke us from sleep and haunted our waking hours, making normal, well—different.
I doubted there would ever be any glorious end of the rainbow moment that would somehow magically cure me of all my flaws.
But, I was working on it and Ryan had made a world of difference in my once bleak outlook on life. Now I saw possibilities where there once was only darkness. He brought hope to my sadness and light to my life. There wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't thankful for his persistence in seeking me out.
I'd been a hard one to nail down, or so he told me.
"So, are you ready?" she asked, grabbing my hand and moving away from the frozen yogurt and fried food.
"As I'll ever be," I sighed, taking one last longing look at the exit.
"Oh come on. Most girls are excited to do this. Hell, I've been excited for this day for weeks!"
"Then say you're me," I begged, as we turned the corner and my eyes spotted the brightly lit sign at the end of the walkway. I could feel the groan already forming, the deep rumbling sound vibrating through my lungs as it made its way up to express my displeasure.
"Everly Adams. You will not ruin this for me! This is your day and you will enjoy it!" "I thought my day was several months from now," I joked.
"As the blushing bride-to-be, you will have lots of days between now and then. Get used
to the attention."
I groaned again, looking at the floor-to-ceiling windows that displayed more tulle and
sequins than I'd seen in my entire life. "We should have eloped."
"This is horrid, Sarah," I whined, shuffling out of the dressing room in a gown that could only be described as a cross between the Little Mermaid and that scary Alfred Hitchcock movie with all the birds.
"It's beautiful! And so fashion forward," she practically squealed, clapping her hands together like a happy toddler who had just been given a lollipop for supper. "Look at the way the fabric gathers together, making it look like tiny feathers at the bottom of the skirt. So dramatic."
"That," I said, pointing to my calves," is also where my legs are supposed to be able to move back and forth. It's called walking. I look ridiculous!"
"Walking is so overrated. Besides, how much walking are you planning to do in this thing?" She rolled her eyes, kneeling down to play with the skirt some more. It resulted in the tulle or whatever the puffy stuff was called doubling in size.
"There, perfect."
"I'm not wearing this," I said firmly, trying to look anywhere but at the three different mirrors all reflecting my ridiculous reflection. "Pick another one. And for the love of God, pick something less…well, less you!"
I once again attempted to walk back into the dressing room, doing more of a waddle than a walk. Once there, I was joined by an attendant to assist me. There was no way I could get out of this monstrosity by myself.
"Your tattoo is lovely. Quite unique," the bridal attendant said, as she stood behind me and removed the clamps that held the dress in place. My thin, boy-like frame never did fit into sample sizes well. The lack of hips and boobs kept me in sizes most women would die to wear, but the lack of aforementioned body parts sometimes sucked. A lot.
Especially when trying on wedding dresses. Or anything remotely feminine. I felt more like a pre-pubescent boy trying on drag than a beautiful, curvy woman.
"Thank you," I answered awkwardly, as my hand instinctively reached behind my shoulder to touch the piece of me that I rarely shared with others. The walls of mirrors put my body completely on display, highlighting every rough curve and jutted angle, exposing the harsh black lines of the branch as it wove up my back and around my shoulder.
"Why doesn't the bird fly away? She's free," she said absently, her head cocked to the side as she stared at the birdcage etched on my right shoulder. It was intricate and beautiful as it hung on the barren branch, the door swung wide open for the world to peer in on the tiny bird inside.
"Maybe she's not ready yet," I answered quietly, looking away.
"Okay, I've got another one, Everly! And I promise, you're going to love it!" Sarah's singsong voice seemed to break the spell hovering above us, giving us both a startle. The attendant straightened, turning quickly as I retreated into the corner to grab the satin robe. I'd just fastened it around my waist when she opened the door to let Sarah in.
"Tell me you love me," Sarah said as she waltzed into the room, holding up a simple ivory colored empire waist gown with a small amount of beading around the neckline and not a single bit of organza or tulle in sight.
"I think I love you," I said, as my eyes widened at the understated elegance of the dress. Simple and understated. Everything I wanted to be.
"Let's try it on," she suggested, handing it to the attendant who motioned for me to come forward.
Nodding, I agreed, knowing it was unnecessary.
It was perfect and as I glanced around the room, I caught a glimpse of that tiny bird on my shoulder. The one too afraid to jump out of her cage and discover the world outside.
Soon, I would be perfect, too.
Or as close as I could be to the word.
***
"You are mine, Everly," he whispered. "Mine and mine alone. I own every part of you, every inch of your body…every breath in your lungs. You. Belong. To. Me."
"Everly," another voice murmured. "Everly, wake up. You fell asleep right at the good part again," Ryan laughed.
My eyes cracked open as the glow of the TV made me turn my head toward the comfort of his warm chest.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, pulling me tight against his body. "You'll never know who the winter soldier is now," he joked, his head leaning forward just close enough that I felt the heat of his breath against my neck.
"I saw that plot twist ages ago," I answered, covering a quiet yawn with my palm as I stretched in his arms.
"You always do."
"I can't help it. The story lines are always so obvious."
"And if you had written the story," he said, pulling back slightly with a boyish grin
lighting up his face, "What would you have done differently?"
"I don't know—I'm not a scriptwriter," I answered with a shrug.
"Maybe you should be." His brow arched, challenging me to answer.
"Who's being the obvious one now, Ryan?" I asked with a huff, rising from my
comfortable spot on the couch in order to create some much needed distance. "And seriously? Scriptwriting? Pick something a little less insane next time. When have you ever seen me pick up a pen? Or sit in front of a computer?"
Whenever the subject of where I was going with my life came up, I needed space.
Unfortunately our apartment was only so big, and right now a football field or two didn't seem large enough.
"I don't want to start an argument, Ev, but I just want you to think about it."
"I have been thinking about it," I answered, stepping into the kitchen as the lights flickered on. I pulled open the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. Roughly twisting the cap off, I upturned the bottle and chugged half the contents in one gulp. Water was definitely not my first beverage of choice, but right now I didn't have the patience for anything else.
"And what have you decided?" he asked cautiously, rising from the couch to take a seat at the kitchen island across from me.
"That I'm still deciding." I held my head high, avoiding his eye contact.
I was not in the wrong here.
He sighed long and slow, and I let the silence settle between us, setting the half- empty
bottle down on the counter in front of me. A quick glint of light caught my attention as I turned my head and I swiveled back around toward my left hand, noticing the way the overhead lights reflected on the small diamond centered in the middle of the thin gold band.
Three weeks ago he'd asked me to marry him and I'd said yes.
Despite everything I'd put him through—the cold indifference and the numerous rebuttals to his advances, he'd loved me. When I'd told him there would always be a part of me unavailable…that I just couldn't share, he'd accepted me. For who I was.
And what I was willing to give him.
"I'll look at the brochures again," I said, offering up an olive branch as I stepped forward and held out the rest of my water bottle. His warm smile returned as his fingers encased mine around the plastic.
"I just want to see you succeed. In whatever you chose, Ev. Hell, you can major in basket weaving for all I care. I just want you to feel like you have a purpose in life beyond working at that coffee shop you refuse to quit."
"I know, and I love you for it," I replied, feeling the deep gaze of his eyes settle on mine. Needing to be closer to him, I walked out of the kitchen and walked into his arms at the counter where he sat.
He pulled me into his large frame, where the world felt safe and measurable again.
"I do make a mean cup of coffee," I said, my lips curving into a smile.
His fingers cupped my chin, tilting it toward his dark brown eyes.
"I know. Why do you think I kept coming back every damn day? It wasn't your charming personality."
"I thought it was my ass," I laughed, shaking it as his hands closed around each cheek and squeezed.
"Ah yes. The ass of a porn star and the mouth of a mime. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get you to talk to me."
"Such a sweet talker, and besides—I was told to never speak to strange men," I said, quickly hating myself for saying it. My face slipped slightly as my stomach turned, rolling and churning as my mind replayed unwanted memories from my past.
I never, ever want to see you speaking to another man again. Do you understand me, Everly?
The words rolled around in my head as I tried to shake them out. In the last two years of my life, I'd had a thousand moments like this. A glance, a turn of phrase—anything could bring them on. I'd learned to recognize the symptoms and process the reaction quickly.
So quickly that Ryan didn't even seem to notice anymore.
"Well," he said, grinning, his hands slipping underneath my shirt, "I finally did wear you down. And now you're mine."
A weak smile spread across my lips, seconds before his mouth touched mine. No matter how much he loved me.
No matter how much I loved him in return.
I would never, ever belong to another person.
For as long as I lived.
***
The movie had been long forgotten, as had our clothes.
They were strung out all over the apartment, leaving a trail toward the bedroom. Little breadcrumbs of debauchery.
"Hey, it's still early; do you want to order a pizza?" Ryan yelled from the shower as I took a long breath and snuggled deeper into the covers on our bed.
"Does it require me to get out of this bed?" I whined, moving my legs back and forth against the smooth sheets. Ryan always said it looked like I was swimming in bed when I did this.
Growing up, I never had nice sheets. Hell, sometimes there were foster homes that didn't even give me sheets—just a blanket and a dirty bare mattress.
Luxuries like Egyptian cotton sheets were things I would never grow accustomed to, no matter how many times my legs touched them. Every night, I'd sink into bed and run my legs back and forth against the smoothness, loving the way it felt against my skin.
Like Ryan, it brought me peace and made me feel safe—two things I'd struggled with the majority of my life.
"Please, babe. I'm hungry. So very, very hungry," he said, sticking his head out the door of the bathroom. His lips turned downward, making him look years younger. I laughed, unable to resist his boyish charm.
"Okay, okay," I said, stretching one last time, before I rose to grab my robe.
"On second thought, I might need to work off a few more calories first," he said, stepping out of the bathroom in just a towel. His tanned skin was slick and wet from the shower, and I couldn't help but lick my lips as I watched a tiny drop of water skate down his chiseled chest.
Who knew nerds could be so hot?
His gaze turned heated as he stalked forward and I watched the towel drop to the floor. I stepped backward, feeling the edge of the bed hit the backs of my knees.
Our bodies met once more as his hand cupped the back of my head, tilting it upward. "I love you, Everly. I love you so much," he whispered, touching his lips to mine. I moaned into the kiss, feeling every hard inch of him press into me.
Always aware of my needs, he was gentle as he lowered me to the bed. As my head touched the pillow, I heard the sounds of a cell phone ringing throughout the apartment.
Ryan's head dipped forward, shaking back and forth.
"Just ignore it," he said.
I was already pushing at his shoulders, begging him to let me answer it.
"It can't be that important, Ev," he said, his eyes dancing with amusement. "I'm right here."
I rolled my eyes, grabbing my robe as I raced to the living room.
"It could be Sarah," I said. "She had her first rehearsal tonight."
I picked up the phone, not recognizing the number, and paused.
"Babe," Ryan said, standing in the doorway of our room. "Come back to bed. Whatever it is can wait."
I didn't listen. Instead, I answered and heard the words I had begged God to never allow to come true.
"Miss Adams?" a woman said on the other end.
"Yes," I answered.
"This is Doctor Lawrence from St. Marcus Hospital."
My heart began to beat frantically as my hand sought out something solid to hold me up.
I knew it was coming. Like a freight train in the middle of the night, I could see the light off in the distance…I knew what was coming.
Who was coming.
"He's awake."
The phone hit the floor seconds before I did, and then the world went black.
*******

Remembering Everly by JL Berg

Date of Publication: April 5, 2016

REMEMBERING EVERLY Blurb

He's forgotten his past, but it hasn't forgotten him. After losing two years of his life trapped in a coma, August Kincaid will do anything to win back the love of his life. But his past threatens to destroy his second chance at happiness, it's Everly who is in danger of paying for his crimes.

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FORGETTING AUGUST by J. L. Berg - PROMO

Forgetting August by JL Berg

Date of Publication: April 5, 2016

Blurb

She can forgive, but can she forget?

Some days, Everly still thinks she sees him. In the food court at the mall, or in a car speeding past as the light changes. It only lasts a second, but when it happens, she slips back to a time when she was ruled-and nearly ruined-by August Kincaid. And it doesn't matter that she's moved on, that she's about to marry another man. In those moments the only thing she can do to regain control is take a deep breath and remind herself that August can't hurt her-because he's in a coma. Except that he's not anymore.

August is awake. With no memories, he sets out to solve the mystery of his lost life. He unearths a photograph of a beautiful redhead named Everly and knows instinctively that she's the key. But when he finds her, the August she describes is more monster than man.

Tortured by the thought of having hurt her, August wants only to become the man Everly deserves. As the new August emerges, Everly glimpses the person she first fell in love with. But can she trust that this August is real? When the final secret of their shared past is revealed, one of them will make a choice that changes their future forever . . .

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---

About JL Berg

Author J.L. Berg is a California native living in the South. She is the author of the self-pubbed Ready series. When she's not writing, you can find her with her nose stuck in a romance book, in a yoga studio, or devouring anything chocolate.

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Teaser

Chapter One 

Everly 

I saw him again today.
It was at the mall this time.
He was wearing a grey suit and it was just seconds this time before he disappeared around a corner and my life returned to normal once more.
It had been two years and yet I still saw him. Everywhere.
The day after that fateful night, I saw him in our neighborhood walking a dog. Months later, he was next to me at a stoplight when I went out for groceries. Two weeks ago when Ryan got down on one knee and placed a dazzling diamond ring on my left hand, I swear I saw his face the minute I said yes.
He was like a ghostómy own personal poltergeist.
I knew it wasn't really him. My therapist had reminded me of that simple fact over a thousand times, but that didn't stop my heart from skipping a beat or my lungs deflating of air every time I saw someone that looked like him pass in my direction.
It could be the color of a person's hair or the way someone laughed that set my body on edge.
Today, it was simply a suit.
Tailored, dark grey with a small pinstripe. The style had been his favorite, and even though the man who wore it looked nothing like him, I still found myself frozen in the middle of the food court.
Still as ice, unable to move.
Because life really didn't move on from a person such as August Kincaid.
No, you simply learned to adapt and above all, you survived.
And that was what I had been doing for the last two years.
Surviving.
"Hey, you went blank again. Are you okay?" Sarah asked.
I looked around, and the world suddenly shifted back into focus. Children cried and
begged for ice cream, teenagers laughed and flirted as they walked by us. The smell of cinnamon rolls and cheap Chinese food mixed and mingled, as people pushed and shoved their way around to get in ridiculously long lines. Life went on around me as I returned to the land of the living.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured her. Concern was written all over her beautiful, trim face. Her hand lifted briefly as if she were going to offer a hug, but quickly decided against it.
"Okay," she answered, defeat clearly written all over her face. She knew I wouldn't talk about it.
I never did.
There were certain things that just didn't need to be shared.
Specific memories of my past were one of them.
She already knew I was a nutcase yet for some reason became my friend despite this. I guess we had that specific trait in common. We'd met in the waiting room at my therapist's office. She was a recovering purger, or at least that's what she called it. Since the time Sarah was barely old enough to vote, she'd been suffering from a variety of eating disorders. She attributed her illnesses to a dance mentor who'd never thought she was thin enough to be a ballerina.
"When all you want to do is be the Swan Princess in Swan Lake, you make sacrifices," she'd told me that day in the office very matter-of-factly. Sarah was at peace with her issues. She'd gone through years of counseling and this year would finally be the swan princess she always dreamed of beingófully in control of what she considered her "livable flaws."
Me?
Well, I guess we all had issues that lingered. Some had visible flaws they could see in the mirror, touch with their handsÖmeasure on a scale. Others, like me, had memories that woke us from sleep and haunted our waking hours, making normal, wellódifferent.
I doubted there would ever be any glorious end of the rainbow moment that would somehow magically cure me of all my flaws.
But, I was working on it and Ryan had made a world of difference in my once bleak outlook on life. Now I saw possibilities where there once was only darkness. He brought hope to my sadness and light to my life. There wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't thankful for his persistence in seeking me out.
I'd been a hard one to nail down, or so he told me.
"So, are you ready?" she asked, grabbing my hand and moving away from the frozen yogurt and fried food.
"As I'll ever be," I sighed, taking one last longing look at the exit.
"Oh come on. Most girls are excited to do this. Hell, I've been excited for this day for weeks!"
"Then say you're me," I begged, as we turned the corner and my eyes spotted the brightly lit sign at the end of the walkway. I could feel the groan already forming, the deep rumbling sound vibrating through my lungs as it made its way up to express my displeasure.
"Everly Adams. You will not ruin this for me! This is your day and you will enjoy it!" "I thought my day was several months from now," I joked.
"As the blushing bride-to-be, you will have lots of days between now and then. Get used
to the attention."
I groaned again, looking at the floor-to-ceiling windows that displayed more tulle and
sequins than I'd seen in my entire life. "We should have eloped."
"This is horrid, Sarah," I whined, shuffling out of the dressing room in a gown that could only be described as a cross between the Little Mermaid and that scary Alfred Hitchcock movie with all the birds.
"It's beautiful! And so fashion forward," she practically squealed, clapping her hands together like a happy toddler who had just been given a lollipop for supper. "Look at the way the fabric gathers together, making it look like tiny feathers at the bottom of the skirt. So dramatic."
"That," I said, pointing to my calves," is also where my legs are supposed to be able to move back and forth. It's called walking. I look ridiculous!"
"Walking is so overrated. Besides, how much walking are you planning to do in this thing?" She rolled her eyes, kneeling down to play with the skirt some more. It resulted in the tulle or whatever the puffy stuff was called doubling in size.
"There, perfect."
"I'm not wearing this," I said firmly, trying to look anywhere but at the three different mirrors all reflecting my ridiculous reflection. "Pick another one. And for the love of God, pick something lessÖwell, less you!"
I once again attempted to walk back into the dressing room, doing more of a waddle than a walk. Once there, I was joined by an attendant to assist me. There was no way I could get out of this monstrosity by myself.
"Your tattoo is lovely. Quite unique," the bridal attendant said, as she stood behind me and removed the clamps that held the dress in place. My thin, boy-like frame never did fit into sample sizes well. The lack of hips and boobs kept me in sizes most women would die to wear, but the lack of aforementioned body parts sometimes sucked. A lot.
Especially when trying on wedding dresses. Or anything remotely feminine. I felt more like a pre-pubescent boy trying on drag than a beautiful, curvy woman.
"Thank you," I answered awkwardly, as my hand instinctively reached behind my shoulder to touch the piece of me that I rarely shared with others. The walls of mirrors put my body completely on display, highlighting every rough curve and jutted angle, exposing the harsh black lines of the branch as it wove up my back and around my shoulder.
"Why doesn't the bird fly away? She's free," she said absently, her head cocked to the side as she stared at the birdcage etched on my right shoulder. It was intricate and beautiful as it hung on the barren branch, the door swung wide open for the world to peer in on the tiny bird inside.
"Maybe she's not ready yet," I answered quietly, looking away.
"Okay, I've got another one, Everly! And I promise, you're going to love it!" Sarah's singsong voice seemed to break the spell hovering above us, giving us both a startle. The attendant straightened, turning quickly as I retreated into the corner to grab the satin robe. I'd just fastened it around my waist when she opened the door to let Sarah in.
"Tell me you love me," Sarah said as she waltzed into the room, holding up a simple ivory colored empire waist gown with a small amount of beading around the neckline and not a single bit of organza or tulle in sight.
"I think I love you," I said, as my eyes widened at the understated elegance of the dress. Simple and understated. Everything I wanted to be.
"Let's try it on," she suggested, handing it to the attendant who motioned for me to come forward.
Nodding, I agreed, knowing it was unnecessary.
It was perfect and as I glanced around the room, I caught a glimpse of that tiny bird on my shoulder. The one too afraid to jump out of her cage and discover the world outside.
Soon, I would be perfect, too.
Or as close as I could be to the word.
***
"You are mine, Everly," he whispered. "Mine and mine alone. I own every part of you, every inch of your bodyÖevery breath in your lungs. You. Belong. To. Me."
"Everly," another voice murmured. "Everly, wake up. You fell asleep right at the good part again," Ryan laughed.
My eyes cracked open as the glow of the TV made me turn my head toward the comfort of his warm chest.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, pulling me tight against his body. "You'll never know who the winter soldier is now," he joked, his head leaning forward just close enough that I felt the heat of his breath against my neck.
"I saw that plot twist ages ago," I answered, covering a quiet yawn with my palm as I stretched in his arms.
"You always do."
"I can't help it. The story lines are always so obvious."
"And if you had written the story," he said, pulling back slightly with a boyish grin
lighting up his face, "What would you have done differently?"
"I don't knowóI'm not a scriptwriter," I answered with a shrug.
"Maybe you should be." His brow arched, challenging me to answer.
"Who's being the obvious one now, Ryan?" I asked with a huff, rising from my
comfortable spot on the couch in order to create some much needed distance. "And seriously? Scriptwriting? Pick something a little less insane next time. When have you ever seen me pick up a pen? Or sit in front of a computer?"
Whenever the subject of where I was going with my life came up, I needed space.
Unfortunately our apartment was only so big, and right now a football field or two didn't seem large enough.
"I don't want to start an argument, Ev, but I just want you to think about it."
"I have been thinking about it," I answered, stepping into the kitchen as the lights flickered on. I pulled open the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. Roughly twisting the cap off, I upturned the bottle and chugged half the contents in one gulp. Water was definitely not my first beverage of choice, but right now I didn't have the patience for anything else.
"And what have you decided?" he asked cautiously, rising from the couch to take a seat at the kitchen island across from me.
"That I'm still deciding." I held my head high, avoiding his eye contact.
I was not in the wrong here.
He sighed long and slow, and I let the silence settle between us, setting the half-empty
bottle down on the counter in front of me. A quick glint of light caught my attention as I turned my head and I swiveled back around toward my left hand, noticing the way the overhead lights reflected on the small diamond centered in the middle of the thin gold band.
Three weeks ago he'd asked me to marry him and I'd said yes.
Despite everything I'd put him throughóthe cold indifference and the numerous rebuttals to his advances, he'd loved me. When I'd told him there would always be a part of me unavailableÖthat I just couldn't share, he'd accepted me. For who I was.
And what I was willing to give him.
"I'll look at the brochures again," I said, offering up an olive branch as I stepped forward and held out the rest of my water bottle. His warm smile returned as his fingers encased mine around the plastic.
"I just want to see you succeed. In whatever you chose, Ev. Hell, you can major in basket weaving for all I care. I just want you to feel like you have a purpose in life beyond working at that coffee shop you refuse to quit."
"I know, and I love you for it," I replied, feeling the deep gaze of his eyes settle on mine. Needing to be closer to him, I walked out of the kitchen and walked into his arms at the counter where he sat.
He pulled me into his large frame, where the world felt safe and measurable again.
"I do make a mean cup of coffee," I said, my lips curving into a smile.
His fingers cupped my chin, tilting it toward his dark brown eyes.
"I know. Why do you think I kept coming back every damn day? It wasn't your charming personality."
"I thought it was my ass," I laughed, shaking it as his hands closed around each cheek and squeezed.
"Ah yes. The ass of a porn star and the mouth of a mime. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get you to talk to me."
"Such a sweet talker, and besidesóI was told to never speak to strange men," I said, quickly hating myself for saying it. My face slipped slightly as my stomach turned, rolling and churning as my mind replayed unwanted memories from my past.
I never, ever want to see you speaking to another man again. Do you understand me, Everly?
The words rolled around in my head as I tried to shake them out. In the last two years of my life, I'd had a thousand moments like this. A glance, a turn of phraseóanything could bring them on. I'd learned to recognize the symptoms and process the reaction quickly.
So quickly that Ryan didn't even seem to notice anymore.
"Well," he said, grinning, his hands slipping underneath my shirt, "I finally did wear you down. And now you're mine."
A weak smile spread across my lips, seconds before his mouth touched mine. No matter how much he loved me.
No matter how much I loved him in return.
I would never, ever belong to another person.
For as long as I lived.
***
The movie had been long forgotten, as had our clothes.
They were strung out all over the apartment, leaving a trail toward the bedroom. Little breadcrumbs of debauchery.
"Hey, it's still early; do you want to order a pizza?" Ryan yelled from the shower as I took a long breath and snuggled deeper into the covers on our bed.
"Does it require me to get out of this bed?" I whined, moving my legs back and forth against the smooth sheets. Ryan always said it looked like I was swimming in bed when I did this.
Growing up, I never had nice sheets. Hell, sometimes there were foster homes that didn't even give me sheetsójust a blanket and a dirty bare mattress.
Luxuries like Egyptian cotton sheets were things I would never grow accustomed to, no matter how many times my legs touched them. Every night, I'd sink into bed and run my legs back and forth against the smoothness, loving the way it felt against my skin.
Like Ryan, it brought me peace and made me feel safeótwo things I'd struggled with the majority of my life.
"Please, babe. I'm hungry. So very, very hungry," he said, sticking his head out the door of the bathroom. His lips turned downward, making him look years younger. I laughed, unable to resist his boyish charm.
"Okay, okay," I said, stretching one last time, before I rose to grab my robe.
"On second thought, I might need to work off a few more calories first," he said, stepping out of the bathroom in just a towel. His tanned skin was slick and wet from the shower, and I couldn't help but lick my lips as I watched a tiny drop of water skate down his chiseled chest.
Who knew nerds could be so hot?
His gaze turned heated as he stalked forward and I watched the towel drop to the floor. I stepped backward, feeling the edge of the bed hit the backs of my knees.
Our bodies met once more as his hand cupped the back of my head, tilting it upward. "I love you, Everly. I love you so much," he whispered, touching his lips to mine. I moaned into the kiss, feeling every hard inch of him press into me.
Always aware of my needs, he was gentle as he lowered me to the bed. As my head touched the pillow, I heard the sounds of a cell phone ringing throughout the apartment.
Ryan's head dipped forward, shaking back and forth.
"Just ignore it," he said.
I was already pushing at his shoulders, begging him to let me answer it.
"It can't be that important, Ev," he said, his eyes dancing with amusement. "I'm right here."
I rolled my eyes, grabbing my robe as I raced to the living room.
"It could be Sarah," I said. "She had her first rehearsal tonight."
I picked up the phone, not recognizing the number, and paused.
"Babe," Ryan said, standing in the doorway of our room. "Come back to bed. Whatever it is can wait."
I didn't listen. Instead, I answered and heard the words I had begged God to never allow to come true.
"Miss Adams?" a woman said on the other end.
"Yes," I answered.
"This is Doctor Lawrence from St. Marcus Hospital."
My heart began to beat frantically as my hand sought out something solid to hold me up.
I knew it was coming. Like a freight train in the middle of the night, I could see the light off in the distanceÖI knew what was coming.
Who was coming.
"He's awake."
The phone hit the floor seconds before I did, and then the world went black.
*******

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